Our First Date Together and he Smells like A$$


I met this guy through a friend. She called me and said that she had a nice guy that she wanted to introduce me to. Immediately I’m like, oh lord. Why. Ok. Sure. She’s married, and I know that she wants the best for me.




She praised his career; how good he was with his kids and said that he had been divorced for three years. Of course, I asked for his Facebook page. I like looking through their social media accounts because you could see who your mutual friends are, and you get a feel for their personality.


He was straight. Tall (automatic 10 points), little thicker and ok looks. His page was rather dry-he had a few rants about his football team losing but that’s normal for a guy.


He called, and the conversation was pretty good. Typical “Get to Know You” questions. We decided on a two-part date, just to break the ice.

It was his suggestion that we meet at Nada downtown for drinks at 4pm, then head to West Chester to Top Golf around 6pm.


With dating-I do not allow a guy to pick me up at home. I meet them at the destination and I drive my own car. This is different I know, but I have a son and I prefer not to allow anyone near my home unless I really know you. Even after I know you-I do not allow anyone to meet my son unless we are very serious.

So, the day of he confirmed the details and I prepared to meet him downtown at 4pm.




As I am heading downtown, he calls.

“Hey, I am running late. Do you mind if we just meet at Top Golf at 6?”

Me: Late like how? You confirmed the time earlier today (Not in a mean way, but in a way that he knows that this is bs).

Him: Oh, I had an unexpected meeting.

Me: On a Saturday? We could just skip the date, no biggie.

Him: No, no. I apologize. I’ll explain at Top Golf.


Against my inner bougie-I went. Lol.


I arrived before him considering I was already out roaming the mf city with nothing to do because I blocked out my time for this date.


He walks in apologetic with some story about his car and a meeting running over, but whatever all was cool. Not typically my type but it’s just a date.


I try to look at each dating experience as networking and a chance to get to know new people.

Unless you are fine…I’m asking for your last name and making future plans in my head, lmao.

Top Golf is so crowded on the weekend, so we had a 2 hour wait before we got a lane. We went to the bar area (it was packed) had a couple drinks and talked.




Ok now…I kept smelling something foul.



There were so many people at the bar, so I was like-maybe it’s someone around us smelling like hot garbage.


They finally call us for our lane. Cool-the conversation was going ok, we had plenty of things in common. He made a few comments that made me concerned, but I guess that was his way of flirting. I didn’t laugh at those comments so there were very few.


We even knew a few of the same people, which is expected in Mayberry Cincinnati.

We get to the lane and I smell the same filth. We ordered food, so we sat next to each other on the couch and each time he would move, the smell became stronger. I’m talking funk mixed with dead raccoon and sewer.


So of course, I start thinking to myself-this ninja was late because he was slanging and banging that thang before meeting up with me. The nerve.

I think we played a couple of games and he suggested that we continue the party at a nearby Wine Bar. He said they had live music, etc.


Live music, wine and good vibes is my all-time favorite; however, I quickly declined. I’m good for the night. Thank You though.


I call my friend-Biiishhhhhh.

Her: OMG, what?

Me: I told her about the date but then I said…..He smelled soooooooo bad girl. This was not “I forgot to shower today” funk-this was week old, all of my clothes and house smells this way funk.

Her: You always find something wrong. You should give it another try, maybe he had a bad day.

Me: So parts of our conversation had me concerned, he was late to the date and he smelled..and I should give it one more try? Lol

Her: Why not?

Me: Girl Bye


Safe to say there was no Double Bogey for him that night. Unless he double backed to whomever he left before meeting me.


If I ever have to settle…I guess this is what life would sound like.


389 views4 comments