Is He Really This Frugal?

Ok, I am not the best at saving…However, I divide my disposable income by what I plan to do for that month. If I can’t attend something or go somewhere in particular, I will not go.

In dating-if you don’t have enough to invite someone out-just wait or more importantly, don’t suggest a place you know that you can’t afford or don't care to pay for. Check the menu or the price list of the activity before you plan the date.

I learned early on not to assume that people have it a certain way because they appear to “have it.” Back in college I knew a guy that always looked the part, balled out in public and drove a luxury vehicle..that he lived in! (This was in Atlanta)

Not only that, just because they have it, doesn’t mean they will share it.

I met this guy-clean cut, nice career, tall (10 points) and appeared to have the world at his fingertips. Two signs though-he was borderline pretentious (over the phone) and he talked about money more than anything else (i.e. Yeah, I got this and paid this much for it. Or the best one-My boy paid such and such for that). We met at a lounge while I was visiting a friend in another city.

I went back to that city a few months later, but him and I talked in between time.

This was our first date, so he planned everything. I had no worries because I could tell that he had good taste and we had several phone conversations, so he knew my personality.

He picks me up from a friend’s house that lived within that city. Not sure what type of car he pulled up in, but he was scrunched up in that bish. I asked if he had his seat pulled up too far and he said no and this was a rental car because his car was in the shop.

He proceeded to tell me that he didn’t upgrade to a full-size car because it cost extra. Ok, cool. The car type does not matter, I was just concerned with his legs not having enough room to drive. But whatever- I am all about saving a few bucks a day; although I would prefer comfort.

We started our date bar hopping. He found a few happy hour spots in one area that he wanted to visit so I suggested that we park the car and catch an Uber versus him drinking and driving. His response-no it’s cool. I have this free car, let’s just use this.

We get to the place and discussed what we wanted to drink. I run off to the ladies room and once I returned he informed me that he ordered the drinks and added calamari. Thinking to myself-he didn’t ask if I wanted anything to eat. It’s fine, I’ll play it cool.

I am very careful on dates-I don’t need to know our every move and I am not about to ask you a million questions. It’s annoying to me so I don’t do it. And any important questions are asked during our phone conversations before meeting. However, I had to ask about dinner plans.

He told me that we would drink here and then try another place in the area for other happy hour activities.

Me: Oh ok-Did you have a time in mind? Did you make reservations, or will we hope for a table as walk-ins?

I was trying to balance my drink to food ratio because at this point, I knew that I was on a budget,lol.

Him: No but we should probably get there by 7 because I hear that it gets very crowded.

It was about 4pm.

Him: Drink slow-let’s just have one drink here.

In my head: Ok…….-No food and one drink? And we have 3 hours to go…..As he goes on and on about his accolades. We need to head to the next spot so I could get me another drink.

The waitress brings the bill and his card declined!


Of course, I asked if he needed me to pay. I mean-two drinks and calamari from a bar couldn’t be that much.

Him: Naw-I got my black card (eyes rolled in my head).

Next spot-he wanted to look at the happy hour menu before going in. Oh brother!

He decided against that place and said we should head to the dinner spot…yup almost 3 hours earlier.

We get to the spot-it was a Juke Joint and they served soul food. Perfect!

Welp, the waitress told us that it costs $5 extra (each) to eat near the live entertainment and there was an hour and a half wait.

He suggested that we eat at the bar, but I also asked if we could be placed on the waiting list.

I got my next drink! Wooooo!! But he asked that we wait for food until we were seated in the dining area.

Alright now-I am running on E.

Guess what? After an hour later of waiting for our table, he expressed his concern for the extra $5 fee to sit next to the live entertainment.

So he suggested a steak house across the street. Yes-a Steak House!

We were under dressed, but it was early in the evening, so it wasn’t a big deal. He went on and on about the people that frequent this restaurant and I’m just thinking about eating.

As soon as we sat down-he says-just order an appetizer and no drinks, just drink water.

Alright, I was done.

Me: Ok…so….….I will drink a glass of wine. I will also eat more than an appetizer because I have not eaten anything, and I’ve been drinking. I will spare you the cost of a steak; although you don’t go to a steak house without eating steak! Now do you want me to tell these people to separate our bill in this uppity a$$ restaurant?

Him: Oh nah, it’s cool. I got it!

Me: Are you sure? Is everything ok? I could cash app you (LIES!).

Him: No, you are cool.

Then he goes on about his investment group and the new stocks they are following.

Oddly enough, it didn’t ruin the mood.

After the steakhouse, he returned me to my friend’s house and we said that we would grab coffee before I left the following day.

I don’t feel that this should be a deal breaker, but I had to bring it up in our next conversation.

He claims that he is frugal and strategic in anything he does.

-That could be a good thing but also annoying.

P.S. I used the picture with the bird because a bird represents a matter of perspective/ freedom to feel and believe as you wish. I may think he's frugal while others may feel that he is smart.

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